Today is election day and news organizations, political parties, etc., will be doing “exit polls” all day to try to divine the results of the election before the election is really over. Seriously, it’s like for one day each year all these people try to develop the spiritual gift of prophecy. If I ever developed the spiritual gift of prophecy, you better believe I wouldn’t be wasting it on who wins on Election Day. Oh no, my friend, I’m taking that gift to Vegas! Which probably explains why I haven’t been gifted with prophecy…
But anyways, I thought today here on PoG, we would conduct our own little exit poll. Don’t worry, I’m not concerned in the least with who you voted for today, so I won’t be asking you that. No, I have a far more important question to ask – your voting method.
You see, if you’re anything like me (and most Americans, I think), then you went into the voting booth today not entirely sure who all these people were or what they believed about the issues. Or maybe you only knew their names from the attack ads aired against them. And, if that’s the case, how do you decide which box to check?
Here are some suggestions for ways you can make the decision when you’re not able to make a truly informed decision:
1) Don’t – The easiest way to decide who to vote for when you don’t know who to vote for is to not vote for anyone. Just leave that one blank. Or write someone in. Wouldn’t that be a nice Christmas card for someone – “Merry Christmas! I started a last-minute write-in campaign for you, and you’ve been elected Comptroller General!”
2) Alphabetically – Just go down the alphabet. Arnold Bernstein v. Xavier Zabinski? Sorry, Z…
3) Toe the Party Line – If you’re really unsure of who to vote for, you’ll probably be very tempted to just vote for all the candidates belonging to whatever political party you belong to. Actually, if you’re using this method, you’ve probably never taken enough interest in politics to know what you believe, or what the major parties believe, so you’ll probably just vote for the party that your parents would have voted for.
4) Good-looks – If you live in a state that puts the candidate’s picture on the ballot, just vote for the best looking one. After all, you will have to look at them on tv and in newspaper photos for a few years to come…
5) Color – No, not that kind of color! If you’re in a state that puts the names of the candidates on the ballot in different colors, just choose which color you like best. For me, it’s blue.
Of course, the best way to vote is to research the candidates’ beliefs and vote for who you think will do the best job. And that’s the method I advocate. We should all do our civic duty and vote today. Shame on you if you don’t!
So, how do you vote? What’s your method?