The 5 People You Meet at an NFL Game

As I wrote on Monday, an NFL game is like a zoo for people watchers. The entire experience – from standing in line to get into the stadium, finding our seats, the people sitting around us, the public transportation ride back to our car – was like a cross section of crazy in America. Here are 5 of the people I met at my first NFL game ever.

1) Lady Rocking a Hair Net – She was a young lady, too. Could not possibly have been more than 30 years old. Rocking a hair net at the Georgia Dome. On Thursday night. In primetime. I don’t even know what to say about this. I don’t think hair nets are fashionable right now. I didn’t laugh out loud or anything when I saw her, but I get the feeling that if I had, it would have been a true “Haters gon’ hate” moment…

2) Waaaaaay-too-drunk-for-the-2nd-quarter Guy – This was the guy who was sitting towards the right side of our row. He left to get another beer. When he came back, he was too drunk to find the right entrance, so he ended up having to scoot by everyone from the left side of our row. Did I mention that he was easily 300+ pounds? He was so drunk, he tripped and fell on the girl sitting to my left, fell on me, fell on the people in the row in front of me, then fell on my wife’s chair and spilled his beer on her jacket (thankfully she wasn’t there at the time), then fell again before his family finally made it over to help him. Did I mention it was about 5 minutes into the 2nd quarter?

3) Annoying (Visiting Team) Fan – For us, it was a Ravens fan. He was one of those guys who has obviously never ever played football at a competitive level, yet feels like his self-worth is wrapped up in everyone knowing how much he knows about football. He spent the entire game saying stuff like, “Watch, they’re going to motion left, then run right,” or “Blitz the A-gap,” or “That’s right… Fall down for 4. We’ll take that.” Generously, I’d say he was right maybe one out of ten times… Then there was the fact that he constantly referred to Atlanta’s quarterback Matt Ryan as “Matty Ice.” Now, that is Matt Ryan’s nickname in Atlanta, but not even we call him that every time. But the worst of all was when, after talking constantly for the entire game, when Atlanta took the lead again with 20 seconds left in the game, Annoying Ravens Fan got up and left without saying a word. Punk…

4) “The Walk of Shame” – This is my term for when people are bold enough to wear a visiting team jersey to the stadium, then have to walk all the way back to their car after their team loses. In a sea of cheering, gloating home team fans. I tried to get a couple of pictures with my cellphone, but here’s the best I could do.

High-fiving, flag-waving, and shame-walking.
Shame-walking and boldness. A Michael Vick jersey in Atlanta? Really?!

5) Girl sobbing in a MARTA station – This girl was potentially part of the Walk of Shame, since both she and the guy she was with were wearing Ravens jerseys. The difference with her, though, was that she was sobbing hysterically. Honestly, I almost hope that she had just received word that her puppy died or something, because otherwise she was sobbing hysterically because her team just lost, and that’s sad.

*BONUS – You may have seen the now infamous “ATL Hoodrat” video on YouTube (warning: lots of language and crazy in that video). Well, we had our own little ATL Hoodrat incident, except it was funny-ghetto instead of scary-train-wreck-ghetto. At one of our stops, an older man (he said he was in his 60s) got on talking so loud about how lucky the Falcons were, how they weren’t a good team, blah, blah, blah. After a minute or two of this, another guy on the train spoke up and said, “Um… Who are you talking to?” That started a back-and-forth that the older guy wasn’t willing to end, even after getting off the train at his stop. He stood outside the door and kept on talking. When the doors started to close, he stuck his cane out to stop them, thinking they were like elevator doors and would reopen. They don’t. He started yelling, “Hey! Open the doors, man! Give me back my cane!” The other gentleman kindly got up and, with his foot, shoved the old man’s cane out the door. We laughed until we hurt…

How about you? Any crazy stories or people-sightings from a professional sporting event?



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