Best Spam Ever

I’ll be honest with you – as a blogger there’s not much that I like more than when people comment on my posts. When I first started it was simply validation for what I was doing, but more and more I have really begun to enjoy the interactions and the developing community here at PoG. And as anyone who’s blogged for a week knows, spam comments are a part of the process. Most free blogging platforms (like WordPress.com, where this blog is currently hosted) have built-in anti-spam features. Every now and then I like to scan my spam folder just for kicks. Last week I found this gem… (I’ve deactivated the links, just in case you are ridiculous enough to click one of them. If you take the time to manually type the email or web address below into your browser, then what happens next is on you, my friend.)

shuttle service shuttleservice.ro/ Mildenhall@yahoo.com 199.223.127.76

Submitted on 2011/01/23 at 3:55 pm Your site kinda sucks! You should change the way you write and probably the wordpress theme. Else is just a time losing method. I don’t want to be a bad@ss, is just a friendly advice

Ha! Isn’t that awesome?! It’s so much more creative than the average “male enhancement” spam, or the ubiquitous “I’m a Nigerian prince and if you send me $1000 to help me get to safety, I’ll send you $50,000 from the royal treasury.” Let’s diagram this bad boy.

First sentence – No question about whether or not I’m happy with the size of my penis; no fake greeting from a fictional African monarch; just an insult. That’s pretty unique in the world of spam comments, believe me.

Second sentence – That first sentence could possibly lead you to guess that this was a spam advertisement for some sort of website service. The second one is carefully crafted to make you think that it’s just one of those internet morons who spend their days trolling websites and trying to cause trouble.

Third sentence – Ah, now I see… Clever you, Mr. Spammer! You fooled me with the first two sentences. But your poor grammar and strange word choice in this sentence has revealed you for who you are. No normal english-speaking person would regularly refer to something as a “time losing method.”

Fourth sentence – “…is just a friendly advice”? Further confirmation that you are who I now believe you to be. Nice try, though, using the “@” symbol to replace the ‘a’ in “badass” so that your comment wouldn’t get picked up by a profanity filter. Little did you know that I don’t even have one of those on my blog.

So there it is. This is maybe my favorite spam comment I’ve ever gotten on my blog. At least that I’ve seen… I really don’t check the spam folder that often. But after finding this one, I think I might start doing it more.

Ever found a really great/funny spam comment on your blog, or one someone else’s? Share it in the comments, as long as it’s not crazy profane.

Peace.